emotions...

i'm not the right person to be writing about this...
however...
i'd like to say a few things...

firstly...
i say that i am not the right person is because...
i dunno what emotions is actually...
ya ya.. i can look it up in the dictionary bla bla bla...
well what ever it is...
i dunno what it actually means because i've lost part of it from within me...

sounds weird but yearghhh...
over the years...
i've been trying to learn ways to hide my emotions...
ways to control my emotions...
and every other thing that has got to do with emotions...

it is in my opinion that emotion is nothing but just a part of life that can bring u down...
it also plays a big role in affecting one's ability to think rationally...
thus it pretty much does carry a heavy weight of percentage in one's ability to perform optimally...
this may sound a lil in-human...
but hey its just my opinion...
not that i am able to master this ability yet...
but i sure do hope to get there some day...
well of course with intention of doing greater good rather than damage...

however...
there is that lil part of me which still hungers and and yearn to express my emotions...
but for now...
i'll try as hard as i can to hold them back...
cuz if i let it out unnecessarily it could mean world disaster... so yeah....

to my readers...
what i'd like to say here really is...
i dunno...
maybe...
what i am trying to say here is let not ur emotions conquer ur sanity...
cuz if u allow it to...
it would only kill u from the inside out....

trust and respect...

trust and respect are synonymous...
not by the meaning per se...
but it usually comes hand in hand...
be it in business, medicine, our daily lives, friendship, relationship and etc..

well today i'm gonna pen my thoughts here on this particular issue...
or shall i say issues...
and with it i'd like to relate it closely to friendship and relationship...

what i'm about to blurt here are merely my 2 cents worth of thoughts...
nothing more then my own experience and opinion...

readers...
feel free to disagree...
if U r reading this... U may have heard me blabber it to U before...

now where should i start...
oh yes...
Bismillah...

trust...
by simple definition...
"reliance on and confidence in the truth, worth, reliability, etc, of a person"
i think enuf can be extracted from the definition itself...
the word itself is self-explanatory...

respect..
means....
"to show consideration for; treat courteously or kindly, to respect someone's rights."...
again the definition is self-explanatory...

thus i've pretty much have got nothing to say here do i??

“To be trusted is a greater complement than to be loved”.. George McDonald

"Love is unconditional, relationships are not".. ~ Grant Gudmundson

moooo....

this post is dedicated to U...

Saturday...

so time really does fly...
its Saturday already...
that means i've got another 3 weeks here...
i hope hope to fully benefit from it...
HOPE i said....
muahahahah....

on another note...
i'm actually at home on a Saturday...
well not really my own house la...
but yea...
surprisingly x keluar mana2 pongggg...
weee...
boleh masuk Guiness World Record nih...
muahahahaha....
well initially there were plans to go Pangkor laa...
Ipoh laaa,,,
but sleep got the better of me...
and when i sleep...
nothing can wake me up...
hahahah....
so yea... thats why i'm home actually....

in local news today...
i'm doing my CWU...
WTF... yea...
Me>>> SYAFIQ AZMAN....
dah start buta case write up....
hua hua hua....
start cepat abes cepat....
yearghhhh....

ok bye...

P/s: KinKong... i nak ice cream plis...

Thursday

its Thursday already...
so fast...
but i wanna go back to Kl this week...

...

i just wanna say...
cuckoo..
cuckoo..
i'm going cuckoo...

i dunno what to say....

i am in Manjung now....
thats all...
i feel sad but i dunno why...
can somebody please listen me out...
i need to spill this but i dunno where to start...
oh...

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY AYAH...

warrgghhhh....

i yang x tahan rupenye..
what is this??
its killing me inside out...
why...
why...
why...

i'm weak inside....

i can take any challenge charging towards me...
i confidently think i can win too...
but...
when it comes to Girls...
i'm the weakest creature god has ever created...

life as it is...

i cant take this any longer so i've gotta put it down onto paper cuz i can no longer hold it inside....

first and foremost...
what ever i am about to jot in this entry doesnt totally reflect me...
yup not totally but to a certain degree it does..

feelings...
everybody has feelings...
*lagu feelings in the background*

my name is *you know what*...
many know me as macm-macm la...

anyways to the point...
i've bee told lately by many that my appearance i portray a strong and confident person...
yes its true that i pretty much am confident of the things i do...
as for strength, physically i would say no.. :)
but in other terms like mental and emotionally i may be...
may be...

well here is the truth about me...
its been years that i've been like this...
it's taken years for me to be able to hide the true me from the world...

i was never like this...
the old me was a total opposite...
i was an approachable person...
happy...
jovial...
and always smiling...
somehow, this version got lost in time...

i am a more private person now...
prefer to be alone...
company is an option...
friends are just friends...
i do admit that i dislike this version of me...
and at times wonder where the old me has gone...

well i know where its hiding...
its still inside me somewhere...
to scared to come out...
thus hiding behind the person that i am...

where did it go wrong?
why have i turned to be the person that i am now?

i really have no answer to that...
but one thing for sure...
the biggest contributor is life...
yes life...
life as it is has turned me into the person that i am today...

is it good?
i really have no answer to that...
but if u do... leave me a comment...

no one knows me

People tend to think they know me but the truth is they don't...
I've learnt and still learning to hide my feelings and emotion from others...
To me these two entity are the two most precious item in a persons life...
As for me... These are the two things I will learn to hide from the outside word...

My feelings are mine and mine alone...
Why do I need to share what I feel with others...
Who are they?
Not even my own parents do I divulge my feelings...
maybe I'm not ready...
But I do believe one day someone will unlock this reserved heart of mine...

Same goes to emotions...
Is it important for others to take note of my emotions?
Do anyone even bother?
If there are those out there that does..
Lemme know..

This is just me...
The true me...

I bother so much about others...
But I disallow others to bother about me...
Because...

It is just who I am...
The me inside of me...

There are times I wonder..
Why do I even bother care for others?
Because its just the person that I am...

subway

once upon a nite...
i was hungry...
i texted for someone for company...
i got 2...
so we went makan subway....
the end...

depressing nite...

i just came back from a stupid game...
MU lost yet again...
well i would say its typical of them to slip up in the last stretch of the season...
however though...
i still hope they win the title...
tonights game was a fluke...
they were without 2 senior centre back...
fergie playing scholes and carrick together is a no-no...
yet he has not realized that...

moving on...
two by-election took place today...
and BN won both seat...
way to go laa...

in other news...
apparently...
there is someone who actually reads this crap i have in this blog...
U know who U are....

neglected

its been ages since i posted any entry into this blog of mine...
truly long while but i'm not able to justify why...
i had promised my readers (if there are any) that i would constantly update this web log...
i guess i've lied to them and myself...
forgive me...

reflecting back on the actual reason why i created this blog is...
1. as a space for me to spill all my thoughts and rambling that goes on in my head...
2. as a space for me to ventilate my feelings and anger...
3. a place where i can write nonsense without being told by anyone that this is nonsence...
and etc...

so yessssssss i will start to ramble and grumble again...
insyaAllah...