life as it is...

i cant take this any longer so i've gotta put it down onto paper cuz i can no longer hold it inside....

first and foremost...
what ever i am about to jot in this entry doesnt totally reflect me...
yup not totally but to a certain degree it does..

feelings...
everybody has feelings...
*lagu feelings in the background*

my name is *you know what*...
many know me as macm-macm la...

anyways to the point...
i've bee told lately by many that my appearance i portray a strong and confident person...
yes its true that i pretty much am confident of the things i do...
as for strength, physically i would say no.. :)
but in other terms like mental and emotionally i may be...
may be...

well here is the truth about me...
its been years that i've been like this...
it's taken years for me to be able to hide the true me from the world...

i was never like this...
the old me was a total opposite...
i was an approachable person...
happy...
jovial...
and always smiling...
somehow, this version got lost in time...

i am a more private person now...
prefer to be alone...
company is an option...
friends are just friends...
i do admit that i dislike this version of me...
and at times wonder where the old me has gone...

well i know where its hiding...
its still inside me somewhere...
to scared to come out...
thus hiding behind the person that i am...

where did it go wrong?
why have i turned to be the person that i am now?

i really have no answer to that...
but one thing for sure...
the biggest contributor is life...
yes life...
life as it is has turned me into the person that i am today...

is it good?
i really have no answer to that...
but if u do... leave me a comment...