in the midst of all the havoc....

i've been short of time lately...

meaning to say time has gotten the better side of me...

leaving me to always rush for things...

haihzzz...

first off...

i missed out on my end of semester 6 or year 3 holiday...

not to say miss out totally, but its just that i felt it wasn't utilized properly....

the first week of holidays...

i had plan to settle thing before leaving for umrah...

but as fate had its way...

Tok Burn fell sick and was admitted to Selayang Hospital...

he started off purging and somehow developed pneumonia...

at 83 or is 84, pneumonia can be life threatening...

so yea... my days were wasted... well not nice lah to say wasted...

lets say... i spent quality time at the ward with Tok Burn who was delirious half the time of not three quarter...

speaking of umrah...

my 2nd and 3rd week of holidays...

i went to for umrah....

it was a really good experience...

like REALLY GOOD....

my time there... all i had to do was think about going for prayers and waiting for time to eat...

other wise there is nothing to worry about...

though prior to the event...

i somewhat was a lil scared...

though part of me was excited...

but fear got the better side of me...

i was excited because i was finally able to achieve something that i've always wanted to do...

which is go Mekkah...

it has always been my dream to be able to be His visitor at a young age...

at a tender age where i was still a good boy...

but guess that didnt happen...

dah terlanjut usia baru nak pegi jumpe tuhan...

bila dosa dah bertimbun,,,

ish ish ish...

oh well i'm still glad i went though it was later then i hped it would have been...

Alhamdulillah...

it was good...

the first time seeing Ka'abah at 12 am Mekkah time...

i was shiverng to my core when i walked towards Masjidil Haram...

questions was and doubts were filling my mind...

questions like....

will i actually get to see the ka'abah...

or will He test me and blind me from seeing it...

you all those fears of hearing peoples experience...

but Alhamdulillah...

there IT was...

the Holy Black Structure...

after stepping into Masjidil Haram...

a sense of calmness and "kesayuan" filled this soul...

a few steps further in... and i fell to my knees...

i may have dropped a tear or two...

but the feeling was just incredible...

Masya-Allah!!!!

there i was... the feeling of wanting to break down and cry...

wow it was just incredible beyond words...

over 11 days plus there i managed to perform only 4 umrahs...

x larat... as it was my first time...

i managed to witness the washing of kaabah... not the change of kelambu...

but just an annual event where the Mayor of Makkah inspects the inside of kaabah...

i was able to witness the kaabah door open..

Alhamdulillah praise be to Him Allah swt...

Insyallah...

i tried to pray for all those who pesan their prayers...

ade yg mintak jodoh...

mintak permudah segala urusan...

mintak kawen cepat...

etc... etc...

whether He answers and terima my prayers...

itu, wallahualam...

of course i prayed myself too la...

hahahah....

ok thats all...

adios...

see my fb for some Makkah picts...

;)

“We write a book about us and our relationship, but i’ll keep it short by letting everyone know he is the best damn thing that has EVER happened to me. I love u”

insane fanatics

everyone is entitled to their opinion...
so what...
whats the need of getting emotional....

weak fool

now he decides to get personal...
but thank you for at noticing the fact that i care if there is chaos and havoc...
I'm surprised a person of his "religious stature" isn't....

baik punya cilok!!!

i was browsing through blog...
jumping here and there...
skipping there and here...
and so i cam across this particular blog...
its written by a student of some place somewhere in Malaysia...
i truly respect the way she thinks and places things in perspective...

do read...

Mana terima kasih?
Salam.


Sememangnya hangat isu BERSIH. Tapi entri kali ini, aku bukan nak menyentuh tentang BERSIH sebab aku tidak layak untuk bercakap tentang politik dan perkara perkara yang sewaktu dengannya. Aku hanya ingin bercakap tentang perkara yang logik akal.

Eh, seronok pula baca manusia manusia yang tak reti berterima kasih ini memaki hamun polis. Wah wah wah, ada saja yang tak kena. Ini tak patut, itu tak patut. Pandai sungguh berkata kata. Pernah jadi polis sebelum ni bang? Pernah jadi polis sebelum ni kak? Oh, tak pernah. Berhujah macam pernah ja. Apa kata abang dan kakak ni pi ganti ketua polis kita tu. Mana la tau ada idea lagi bagus. Haaa, tau pon takut.

Can you imagine, how hard they work and can you at least put a small thankyou for what they've done? Susah sangat ka? Mahal sangat nak cakap terima kasih? Sibuk sangat kritik. Polis ni pembunuh. Pacik tu mati sesak nafas, sebab hidu gas pemedih mata kononnya, semua salah polis. Bukan nak cakap pasal ajal, tp polis yang dipersalahkan. Polis bertindak ganas, gari tak buang, tendang orang, maki orang, jerit sana jerit sini. Habistu, dah kata demonstrasi haram, yang datang bukan seorang bawak sepanduk, kalau macam tu bagi anjing kejar pon settle. Ni tidak, yang datang tu pon segerombolan, semua set set kepala masam yang tidak tahu mengikut arahan, agak agak nya dengan hanya berdiam diri, puak puak itu akan meleraikan perhimpunan haram tu ka? Fikir logikla. nak suruh polis buat baik baik, nak cakap macamna? Nak cakap lembut macam orang bercinta? Nak suruh polis buat sembahyang jemaah tengah tengah tu, angkat tangan doa, senjata semua tk payah bawak, macam tu ka nak? Macam tu boleh leraikan samseng samseng jalanan ka? Semua polis salah. Habis yang p Bersih tu macam na? Okayyy, maybe yang p Bersih tu inginkan keadilan dan tuntutan yang aku sendiri tak pasti, tapi bacalaah. Jangan main hentam. Yang join tu pon, sebab dapat duit, bukan betul betul dan nakkan keamanan dan keadilan terhadap negara. Ingat senang ka nak deal dgn orang orang macam ni?

Abang, kakak, pacik, macik, MAMPUKAH?

Kalau tak, cakap saja terima kasih. Jangan nak macam macam. Polis tu, dengan emosi dia lagi, makan tk cukup, makan tepi longkang, tidoq tak cukup, tinggai anak bini, masa untuk diri sendiri pon takdak, duit pon tak dapat, kerja lebih masa, depa buat ni untuk apa? untuk semua, rakyaaat malaysia, tk kira la sapa pon. So at least, hargai laaa depa. Hargai ! Mungkin depa bertindak kasar, tapi cuba fikir, kalau pacik macik abang kakak semua duduk dalam keadaan depa, dan tatkala memberi arahan tiada orang mahu dengar, akhirnya kekerasan lah yang digunakan. Ibu soleh mana pon kalau dah penat, dia akan marah juga. Tolong fikirkan sejenak.

for the time is now....

being away from city has somewhat been a blessing for my emotions...
though it partly tormented by just being away...
but the already hurt and confused part of my emotions took it as sometime off to decide on things...

well...
if ur reading this posting and have read all my other recent blabbing..
this is to sum it all up...

its not wrong to say that i did some soul searching...
as i felt that i was at a crossroad of things...

i would say the 2 months away was really meaningful...
yes i was in a dilemma..
of having to decide on certain things...
needing to choose between two...
at the same time....
having to consider my feelings...
others feelings too...
risking friendship ties...
and lots more at stake...
it was hard...

it kind of got me a lil distracted...
but i guess...
HE has somehow made it easy...
i need not hurt anyone...
or at least i think so...
lets hope i am right...

things are gonna be different now...
i'm going back to a place that i'm familiar with...
to a territory where i once roamed like a stallion...
to a place where i knew everything...
but...
that was years ago...
when i rode around like a stud...
knowing things in and out at every nook and cranny...

its about to start all over again...
but with a different twist...

adios Manjung...

and so its goodbye Manjung...
i'm back to the place where i rightfully belong...
in my kingdom of Petaling jaya...
ok la not my kingdom...
but...
my kingdom la...
hahahah...

tak percaya ka??

i'll try not to...

am in it?

not ready...

mixed feelings

hullloooo...
hello...
halo...

i've just read my previous posting in this blog...
i must say...
it doesn't really reflects me...
well at least i claim so...
i don't think its the conscious me...
but it could however be the sub-conscious me...
hmmm...
a point to ponder upon...

reading back the reason posting it amazes me...
how much i've been in touch with inner-self...
WOW...
looking at older posting somewhat brings back a lil memory of who i really am...
ranting and bull shitting on current issues...
political issues...
daily issues...
everything that dissatisfy me la...
but yea mostly on the current political matters...
something i'm totally engrossed with...
not really my passion but something that i just like...

nanti edit lagi la....

O 'm' G

the title was purposely written in that manner...

hi...
i'm currently doing my obstetrics and gynecology posting...
in short its supposed to be O&G...
or to some its also known as ObGyn...
so yearghh...

AS FOR O'M'G...
its actually a short form for oh my god...
or for some...
ohmaigawd...
ke... amalad...
macm2 la....

but to the point...
i just wanted to express my feelings of shock and thankfulnes...
thus...
oh my god...

i've seen ppl beranak...
meaning ppl sang-chai...
giving birth...
dan segala maksud yg sewaktu dgn nye...

its been gruesome yet joyful experience...
gruesome because a baby coming out...
the pain a mother has to endure... bringing u out to this world...
the pain and suffering a mom has to bare for 9 months...
yada yada yada....

joyful... because...
because la...
hahahah....
its a joyful experience because of the site of a new life be brought to this earth...
the site of a smiling baby face...
the sound of that first. cry....
its such a miracle...
the wonders of nature and..
the power of the Almighty Allah swt...

to all...
appreciate ur mom...
be thankful...
never hurt her...
dan segala yang sewaktu denganye..

appreciate ur wives..
or wives to be...
for they will be the one baring ur legacy....

ok dah ngantuk... goodnite...

of JenAn and JLo

There are times when a man has to say what's on his mind...
Even though he knows how much it's gonna hurt...

Before I say another word..
Let me hold you close...
and say these words as gently as I can...

There's just this empty place inside of me...
that only one can fill...

Torn between two lovers, feelin' like a fool
Lovin' both of you is breakin' all the rules

dear friend...

dear friend..
its been a while since i've said hello to u...
its been a really long while since we met each other...

time really hasn't been kind too me...
with the hectic week i had...
numerous numbers of projects to run and start...
i at times wish i had more then 24 hours in my day...

dear friend...
its been a while since i keluar with u...
even if its just to sit and drink while forcing u to read...
or talk nonsensicalness over hours...
well not hours... but figuratively...

i too realized that i've somewhat lost track of u friend..
but its not something i'm doing on purpose...

its good to know ur doing great over there...
alhamdulillah...

i hope to see u around soon...
like when i'm back...

p/s
i'm turning another year older next month...
i hope i become wiser tooo....

Manjung-ified

so here i am again back to the depressing town of Manjung...
well its really no that depressing...
just that i've set some negative thoughts about it...
so yea... its all negative now...

i'm here for another 3 weeks of which i hope would fly faster then any military jet known to mankind...
like that'll ever happen lah kan...
i must say this is another test to my patience...

there are time when i feel that i'm a bit mengada...
but hey..
i grew up in town all my life and how would u expect me to survive outside town...
not to say that i cant survive outside town per se...
its just that it take a whole lot of time for me to adapt to such changes...

on another note...
i have yet to witness another delivery...
however i have heard moms screaming in pain...
one can only imagine the site of pain...

till the next time....
adios amigos...

no more chasing....

Years of running and chasing is soon to be over...
Penat dah mengejar...
X penah2 dapt...
And now out of the blues tanpa disedari...
Ade yg mengejar dalam diam...

Is this it??
Could it be??

mom and dad taught us to be naughty...

Dear Parents,
Jasmine was in a relationship with a dirty homeless boy named Aladdin.
Snow White lived alone with 7 men.
Pinnochio was a liar.
Robin Hood was a thief.
Tarzan walked around without clothes on.
A stranger kissed sleeping beauty and she married him.
Cinderella lied and snuck out at night to attend a party.
You can't blame us. We were taught to rebel since a young age.

its Friday night...

That means party night....
Drinking night...
Chicks night...
Let's drink off all the worlds problem...

Ok adios...
Let's get drunk...

Oh shit..
Tomoro I have a program...
how am I gonna give a welcoming speech if I get a hangover??
Errr...

Ok I'm just joking...
But yes I have an event tomoro..
And yes I drink.. The O, milo ais, the ais and the tarik...
So don get me wrong... ;)

On another note...
Some man are afraid of a lil' competition that they got not balls to talk it thru...
Instead they opt to become a pussy...
I tried to help..
But ur ego was to much...
That aint how a gentlemen solve problem..
Be rational... You clearly didn't have it...
Is this the kind of boy a girl would want??
Lu pikir la sendiri....

Ok penat dah...
Nak tido... Keje banyak... Tapi esok punye program lagi penting...

Arividecci...

happy birthday Mak Cik Bedah...

today is mak cik bedah's birthday...
who is mak cik bedah??
my adek... her name is afeefah...
why call her makcik bedah???
because when she berleter she is worse then my nenek... hahahah...
so yeah...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SISTA>>>>
Birthday Number what eh???

gotta tell u...

yeay yeay yeay... iyeay yeay....
that special feeling just burst inside...
it was only u... nobody else...
but baby... i know better now....

ok the above were excerpts from Samantha Mumba's song...
the title is the same as this postings title...
however what ever i am about to write has no relevance to the title postings title...
so yea... i didn't have an idea for the postings title...
so i've decided to just put what i was listening on my ipod...

wokeyh....
so today i feel like babbling on life and gambling...
its a lil' cliche to talk about but yeargghh...

life is life as it is...
there really is nothing much to talk about...
beacuse everyone lives them differently..
however all human and mannkind have one thing in common in living their lives...
that is gambling...
yessss...
gambling in life...
and no i dont mean the lottery gambling, choh tai ti or da ma chai or toto or whatever la..

however i do mean taking chances in life...
isnt that pretty much the same as gambling??
taking chances...
no matter how much u evaluate things and weigh it s pros and cons...
at the end of the day it pretty much don seem to end the way u expect it...


its something u just cant avoid...
u need to gamble and take chaces in order to know things...
especially things pertaining to the heart...
i'm the biggest gambler...
however i've learnt that its can hurt u so badly and make u happy like never before...

oh yes i've gambled alright...
and yes... i did take my time to evaluate things...
weigh its pros and cons...
there are times which i 'win' however most of the time i 'loose'..
easy to say...
i mmg bukan kaki gambling la...

now.. coming back to the topic...
hmmm...
why did i write about this again...
oh yea...
eh...
i dunno la...
i just wanted to write something..
so here goes nothing...
hahahah....

just remember...
life is all about gambling...
no hopes...
no chances...
just plain ol'Gambling...

blardy exam....

the time has come...

its time to snap out of this fantasy and get back to reality...
it was nice while it lasted...
but i know it just a mere fiction...
nothing more then a mirage of denial...

first there was one...
then there was two...
now there is three...

maybe i'm better off with none...
ok maybe that's a lie....

on another note....
MOHD SYAFIQ ISMAIL BIN AZMAN...
study pleaseeeeee.... esok exam laa...
lepas tu ko nak ronggeng mak kiah ke...
pergi clubbing ke...
pergi mane ke...
lantaq hang la...
now...
STUDY laaaaaa...

Surat Cinta Untuk Future Wife(s) - 1 pon cukup actually... dah bole kasi poning kepalo...

Surat Cinta Untuk Future Wife(s) -

Assalamualaikum

Kehadapan my future wife(s)

So, wahai my future wife(s)

I don't know who the hell are you and I have no idea where you are right now. But one day, bila kita dah berjumpa, I harap you mampu terima I seadanya seperti mana I akan terima you dan diri you sebenarnya. Lagi pun, I tahu yang you ni memang comel. Dan baik. Dan rajin. Dan alim. Dan cun.

I berharap bila I check facebook you nanti, you tidak letak banyak gambar you yang daring-daring kat facebook. Sebab, setahu I, kalau perempuan tu comel, mesti nak tunjukkan ke seluruh dunia. Macam lah dia sorang je yang comel. I comel tak ada pun letak gambar kat facebook tunjuk ke seluruh dunia. Boleh je hidup. Ehem.

Serta, gambar di facebook tu, jangan lah nak dedah sana dedah sini. Malu I. You pun tau kan, perempuan ni ibarat cokelat Ferrero Rocher. Bila berbalut dengan pembalut, even cokelat tu jatuh kelantai pun orang still nak. Tapi kalau dah tak berbalut, bila jatuh ke lantai, semua buat dono. Ada tu, kalau boleh, ada yang nak pijak lagi. You pun tak nak kena pijak kan?

Lagi pun, you tahu, tak ada lelaki di dunia ni yang nak kahwin dengan perempuan yang seksi meksi.

My future wife(s),

I tak tahu pasal masa depan I. I tak tahu berapa banyak duit yang I akan ada. So, dengan kata lain, I mungkin tak akan mampu kasi rumah 10 tingkat kat you. I juga mungkin tak mampu kasi you 10 emas intan berlian. Harap you tak kisah dengan diri I yang tak beharta ni. Tapi kalau setakat kasi you 20 hingga 30 anak tu, I okay je. Dalam tiga tahun, kita mungkin akan ada 2 anak. Tapi tu tak termasuk yang kembar tau.

Bila kita ada rumah nanti, I tak kisah kalau you nak bekerja. Tapi lagi bagus kalau you duduk je rumah jaga I. I bukan mintak di layan bagai raja. Tapi kalau I balik dari kerja tu, apa salahnya tanggalkan stokin I, urut bahu I, sediakan minum-minum I. Tapi kalau you tak nak buat, tak apa. I boleh tambah lagi 1 (cukup 2). Lagi pun, bila I tambah lagi 1, kurang la sikit beban you. See? I memang prihatin.

Hmm. You tau, I tak mengharapkan yang you adalah gadis lemah lembut dan ikut semua kata I. Kalau you boyish sikit pun apa salahnya. Aggressive itu menarik. Kalau boleh, lebihkan kat bahagian mengada-ngada dan keras kepala you tu. I suka. Senang la I nak ajak bergaduh kalau macam tu. Sebab kalau di ikutkan, I tak suka perempuan yang lemah lembut sangat. Nanti tak meriah rumah tangga. So kalau skali skala bergaduh, best juga kan? Lagi pun, kita gaduh siang-siang je, bila dah nampak katil di malam Jumaat, kita berbaik lah. Tambahan pula, bagi kita, setiap malam kan malam Jumaat.

My future wife (s),

You, I harap you reti memasak. You mesti reti memasak. Apa? Tak salah kalau perempuan tak reti masak? Ya. Memang tak salah. I tak kata pun salah. Tapi jangan salahkan I kalau I tambah lagi 1 isteri (cukup 3) sebab yang satu dan dua tak reti masak nak buat macam mana kan? Okay tak-tak. I tak nak bini 2,3,4. Banyak sangat. bukan tak mampu. Tapi... Ehem.

Actually, I bukan mintak you masak macam makan kat hotel. Asalkan you reti masak yang simple-simple sudah lah. You tau, air tangan masakan isteri lah yang buat si suami setia. Lagi pun, tak akan setiap hari kita nak makan kat restoran kan? Kalau setiap hari makan kat restoran, baik I kahwin je dengan mak cik tukang masak tu. Ye tak? You pun tak nak kan I tambah lagi satu (cukup 4) kan?

I harap you reti jaga diri sebelum jumpa I. Kalau boleh, jangan couple banyak-banyak. Tak pernah couple lagi bagus. Tapi kalau dah couple tu, jangan buat yang bukan-bukan dengan boyfriend you. Bila dating tu, jangan nak mengada-ngada keluar berdua. Boyfriend you tu bukan boleh percaya sangat. Kebanyakkanya adalah buaya. Sebab kalau dah lelaki, mesti bermulut manis. Boys, their mouth is bull****. So, don't trust them.

Akhir kata dari I, bila kita kahwin nanti, you masak, I makan. I imam, you makmum. I baca doa, you aminkan. You merajuk, I pujuk. Perfect, kan? So cepat lah cari I. I takut lah nak cari 'you'. Takut tersalah pilih perempuan lain. You pun mesti tak nak jadi isteri ke dua I kan.


THIS WAS COPIED FROM FB...

Sons'-day...

the day where all sons' should enjoy...
a day when our moms can scream their lungs out to wake us up yet we don...
why...
because dad is still sleeping too...
muahahahah....
i wish....

oh well i'm stuck in Manjung still...
i've got 2 more days to my exam...
and...
i'm not prepared at ALL...
i/m not able to get that kick start to my study mood...
why cuz i'm just not able too...
huaaarghhh....

on another note...
it's already 11 am...
and...
i am the only one awake...
yikes...
just as i thought i wAs bad... the other boys are worst...
hua hua hua...

so my plans for today is....
to get my laundry done before balik KL...
gosok-gosok can send to the kakak dobi....
read on seizures.. thalasaemia... and re-run all the tbl slides...

well those are my plans...
now...
how do i execute them??/
huaarghh....???

yikes...
okies... gonna hit the shower...
errr...
later...

unproductive Saturday...

and sooo...
my 4 weeks in Manjung is almost over....
today marks the end of the 3rd week here...
ok la... tomorrow Sunday la actually but what the heck...

so yes i've survived 3 weeks of Manjung life...
but of course i had to balik la one of the weekends...
muahahahah...
i was born in the city and brought up in the city...
so how do u expect me to survive outside the city...

alhamdulillah... its been a breeze...
not really la... but yea... i would say that time really flies...
i've had some good learning experience here...
some interesting cases seen and overtly friendly parents...
so friendly to the extend that they call me "doctor"...
well that is something to be proud off...
but i wont let myself get carried away by the title i've yet to received...
snap.. snap...
i've got 2 more years insyallah...
if all goes well and no hiccups along the way...
once done...
that is when i start a whole new chapter in life...
what it has in hold for me... only the Almighty knows... wa'allahualam...
for now... just pray its something desirable and leading to the path of His Mercy...

in terms pf planning for the future... yea...
i've got lots...
well to make it simple...
i have 2 major plans and i will only choose one of the two...

PLAN A...
is to proceed in the health sector...
work my way up in the government ranks in the Ministry of Health...
eventually and hopefully do 1 better then where my parents are now...
retire as a Senior Government Official or better still retire as the Director General of Ministry of Health... in doing that and whilst in position... make some policy changes in the Ministry in order to elevate Malaysia's health system as a whole...

on the other hand...

PLAN B...
is to leave the whole health setting in-directly and pursue my dreams of becoming a lawyer...
at times i think this is a totally crazy idea... but its logically possible to achieve...

well all those are just plans...
what ever it is...
my life has already been determined by Him...
which i nor does anyone knows...
all we could do is plan....
plan plan plan...
because failing to plan is planning to fail...
hahahaha....

on a different story...
i think i need a new suit...
yea... the blazer kind of suit...
the one i currently have is almost 3 years old and i think i'm growing out of it...
buncit edi laaaa,,,,

emotions...

i'm not the right person to be writing about this...
however...
i'd like to say a few things...

firstly...
i say that i am not the right person is because...
i dunno what emotions is actually...
ya ya.. i can look it up in the dictionary bla bla bla...
well what ever it is...
i dunno what it actually means because i've lost part of it from within me...

sounds weird but yearghhh...
over the years...
i've been trying to learn ways to hide my emotions...
ways to control my emotions...
and every other thing that has got to do with emotions...

it is in my opinion that emotion is nothing but just a part of life that can bring u down...
it also plays a big role in affecting one's ability to think rationally...
thus it pretty much does carry a heavy weight of percentage in one's ability to perform optimally...
this may sound a lil in-human...
but hey its just my opinion...
not that i am able to master this ability yet...
but i sure do hope to get there some day...
well of course with intention of doing greater good rather than damage...

however...
there is that lil part of me which still hungers and and yearn to express my emotions...
but for now...
i'll try as hard as i can to hold them back...
cuz if i let it out unnecessarily it could mean world disaster... so yeah....

to my readers...
what i'd like to say here really is...
i dunno...
maybe...
what i am trying to say here is let not ur emotions conquer ur sanity...
cuz if u allow it to...
it would only kill u from the inside out....

trust and respect...

trust and respect are synonymous...
not by the meaning per se...
but it usually comes hand in hand...
be it in business, medicine, our daily lives, friendship, relationship and etc..

well today i'm gonna pen my thoughts here on this particular issue...
or shall i say issues...
and with it i'd like to relate it closely to friendship and relationship...

what i'm about to blurt here are merely my 2 cents worth of thoughts...
nothing more then my own experience and opinion...

readers...
feel free to disagree...
if U r reading this... U may have heard me blabber it to U before...

now where should i start...
oh yes...
Bismillah...

trust...
by simple definition...
"reliance on and confidence in the truth, worth, reliability, etc, of a person"
i think enuf can be extracted from the definition itself...
the word itself is self-explanatory...

respect..
means....
"to show consideration for; treat courteously or kindly, to respect someone's rights."...
again the definition is self-explanatory...

thus i've pretty much have got nothing to say here do i??

“To be trusted is a greater complement than to be loved”.. George McDonald

"Love is unconditional, relationships are not".. ~ Grant Gudmundson

moooo....

this post is dedicated to U...

Saturday...

so time really does fly...
its Saturday already...
that means i've got another 3 weeks here...
i hope hope to fully benefit from it...
HOPE i said....
muahahahah....

on another note...
i'm actually at home on a Saturday...
well not really my own house la...
but yea...
surprisingly x keluar mana2 pongggg...
weee...
boleh masuk Guiness World Record nih...
muahahahaha....
well initially there were plans to go Pangkor laa...
Ipoh laaa,,,
but sleep got the better of me...
and when i sleep...
nothing can wake me up...
hahahah....
so yea... thats why i'm home actually....

in local news today...
i'm doing my CWU...
WTF... yea...
Me>>> SYAFIQ AZMAN....
dah start buta case write up....
hua hua hua....
start cepat abes cepat....
yearghhhh....

ok bye...

P/s: KinKong... i nak ice cream plis...

Thursday

its Thursday already...
so fast...
but i wanna go back to Kl this week...

...

i just wanna say...
cuckoo..
cuckoo..
i'm going cuckoo...

i dunno what to say....

i am in Manjung now....
thats all...
i feel sad but i dunno why...
can somebody please listen me out...
i need to spill this but i dunno where to start...
oh...

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY AYAH...

warrgghhhh....

i yang x tahan rupenye..
what is this??
its killing me inside out...
why...
why...
why...

i'm weak inside....

i can take any challenge charging towards me...
i confidently think i can win too...
but...
when it comes to Girls...
i'm the weakest creature god has ever created...

life as it is...

i cant take this any longer so i've gotta put it down onto paper cuz i can no longer hold it inside....

first and foremost...
what ever i am about to jot in this entry doesnt totally reflect me...
yup not totally but to a certain degree it does..

feelings...
everybody has feelings...
*lagu feelings in the background*

my name is *you know what*...
many know me as macm-macm la...

anyways to the point...
i've bee told lately by many that my appearance i portray a strong and confident person...
yes its true that i pretty much am confident of the things i do...
as for strength, physically i would say no.. :)
but in other terms like mental and emotionally i may be...
may be...

well here is the truth about me...
its been years that i've been like this...
it's taken years for me to be able to hide the true me from the world...

i was never like this...
the old me was a total opposite...
i was an approachable person...
happy...
jovial...
and always smiling...
somehow, this version got lost in time...

i am a more private person now...
prefer to be alone...
company is an option...
friends are just friends...
i do admit that i dislike this version of me...
and at times wonder where the old me has gone...

well i know where its hiding...
its still inside me somewhere...
to scared to come out...
thus hiding behind the person that i am...

where did it go wrong?
why have i turned to be the person that i am now?

i really have no answer to that...
but one thing for sure...
the biggest contributor is life...
yes life...
life as it is has turned me into the person that i am today...

is it good?
i really have no answer to that...
but if u do... leave me a comment...

no one knows me

People tend to think they know me but the truth is they don't...
I've learnt and still learning to hide my feelings and emotion from others...
To me these two entity are the two most precious item in a persons life...
As for me... These are the two things I will learn to hide from the outside word...

My feelings are mine and mine alone...
Why do I need to share what I feel with others...
Who are they?
Not even my own parents do I divulge my feelings...
maybe I'm not ready...
But I do believe one day someone will unlock this reserved heart of mine...

Same goes to emotions...
Is it important for others to take note of my emotions?
Do anyone even bother?
If there are those out there that does..
Lemme know..

This is just me...
The true me...

I bother so much about others...
But I disallow others to bother about me...
Because...

It is just who I am...
The me inside of me...

There are times I wonder..
Why do I even bother care for others?
Because its just the person that I am...

subway

once upon a nite...
i was hungry...
i texted for someone for company...
i got 2...
so we went makan subway....
the end...

depressing nite...

i just came back from a stupid game...
MU lost yet again...
well i would say its typical of them to slip up in the last stretch of the season...
however though...
i still hope they win the title...
tonights game was a fluke...
they were without 2 senior centre back...
fergie playing scholes and carrick together is a no-no...
yet he has not realized that...

moving on...
two by-election took place today...
and BN won both seat...
way to go laa...

in other news...
apparently...
there is someone who actually reads this crap i have in this blog...
U know who U are....

neglected

its been ages since i posted any entry into this blog of mine...
truly long while but i'm not able to justify why...
i had promised my readers (if there are any) that i would constantly update this web log...
i guess i've lied to them and myself...
forgive me...

reflecting back on the actual reason why i created this blog is...
1. as a space for me to spill all my thoughts and rambling that goes on in my head...
2. as a space for me to ventilate my feelings and anger...
3. a place where i can write nonsense without being told by anyone that this is nonsence...
and etc...

so yessssssss i will start to ramble and grumble again...
insyaAllah...